Sal's Forum Newspaper - October 2009 - Letter from the Editor

Hello members of Sal's. I'm here to bring you the 15th issue of Sal's Newspaper. It's full of amazing articles, comics, jokes, interviews, quotes, and an astonishing lack of blog entries. We (finisterra) slaved over a hot computer getting this ready for you so sit down, relax, and enjoy the show!

This Issue at a Glance

We have a lot in store for this issue. Adam has blessed us with his amazing drawing skills in Just Another Average Day Under Obama. You can get a view into the personal life of the late and great Salmoneus with his interview by Paddington. RAnderson gives us a look into the troubled Sri Lanka in his World Affairs report. Lastly, check out the wonderful graphics our forum has come up with in Fatalysm's Graphics of the Issue. These aren't all of our articles so be sure to check them all out!

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Quotes of the Month

In topic about fetishes:

Sayf: Virgins

Dad: "That's right, baby! Let's not have sex. Oooh, so good."

 

In the February BtS thread:

Obeliskos: By God, this part sounds like it was written by a human.

 

Mario Fan678: Okayz, so recently ma cat became an overgrown cat. Here's what's going through my head: "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO --- *runs out of breath* --- OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" . Iz there ANY WAY to turn it back into a normal cat? I dun want an overgrown cat!!! It's fat and when I talk to it with my catspeak amulet, it's mean to me 'n stuff. PLEASE tell me there's a way to change it back into a NORMAL cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ethan: Ive had a cat, and its pretty tough to get it tough when it is already lazy. If you feed it excessive amounts, maybe you could try giving it less food slowly. (Dont go cold turkey) Or i dunno, maybe you can contact someone you know or a professional bout this. (Like the vet. )

 

3volution: Beating women under my UMBRELLA ELLA ELLA EH EH EH UDNER MY UMBRELLA.

 

Redmonke: Me and my date were at the dance, and all she did was grind. I found it kinda annoying tbh.

Gillis: If you don't mind me asking, what is your sexual orientation?

 

Samasa: so what they have a month big deal it doesnt really mean anything special. also there is no white history month because if there was the film rambo would become a documentry.

 

Pixel Bunnie: Love comes in all different shapes, sizes and colours; sometimes even with a rechargable battery.

 

Lord of the Cheeses: One: Marijuana has NEVER been the main cause of death. EVER

Char-lite: that's because it's illegal, silly

 

Gillis: But meat tastes oh so delicious.

Lily Nicole: I'll bet yours does ;]

 

Pixel Bunnie: I find it quite ironic that men like to mock the driving skills of women, but when you look at statistics, men cause more accidents than women do in Australia.

Gillis: That's because more men drive because women spend their time in the kitchen.

 

Gillis: I hear that colleges are starting to look into middle school grades and are now ignoring high school grades. It's because middle school is so damn hard.

 

Mr. Grieves: Pool and snooker are sports right? I'm totally an athlete.

Pixel Bunnie: It's not a sport unless you can sweat, grab inappropriate parts of the body, use force and swear. So, as long as you get into a heated rage over the pool game, lunge one of the balls at your opponent, hitting them in a sensitive area while swearing abuse; then that's a sport.

 

teacuptime: It's an adze which is a sort of sideways axe used for hollowing out wood, demolishing timber framed buildings and annoying people in games of scrabble with your superior word power.

 

Stash: HA! Puny infidel, ours are much much wider and swifter and harder striking!

Click This: HA! OURS ARE LONGER AND MORE IMPOSING. YOU WILL SURRENDER THE MOMENT YOU SEE THEM.

 

Alexei Kosygin: The French prevailed.

 

Adam?: I suggest we go from shaking hands to touching penises.

 

123man: I believe that all sex is a beautiful thing between two people and God. It's a three-some with God joining in whether you like it or not (wait...isn't that the definition of rape?!).

 

Dad: Please stop disrespecting our religion with your proof.

 

Yelo: I want to tell you all a story about how a girl turned into a whale.

Goliath: Is this girl Kirstie Alley?

 

Gavin: Reminds me of that time when I tripped and the wind just happened to blow my trousers down and my penis found it's way into another woman's mouth. Oh what an embarassing accident. At least the cops understood.

Jamster: The way you say 'another' woman's mouth is slightly disturbing..

 

Fang: Once again, you could be talking to a pediphile.

error404: You spelt paedophile wrong I think it has an a in it

 

In response to a survey topic:

Fishee: ITT: RE:RE:RE:FW:RE:RE:FW:FW:FW: lol look at these stats i found@@

 

Motlycrue: Hello i hope you enjoy your stay here. You'll meet some odd characters.

Arianna: DOST THOU, MORTAL, SUMMON ME?

 

Zon70: Yeah I won't lie that's a pretty nice chest *saves picture*

Jr Josh: You're a fudgeing creeper.

Zon70: Well hey at least I'm not putting it as my psp background like this one guy said earlier.

 

Angola: no comment.

Gillis: This is easily the most useless post ever.

-Mike-: +1

 

redmonke: Is it veera, or vair-ah?

yelo: its vanity fair

 

In the Evony advertisement topic:

skelengel ftw: so does this have boobs or what?

 

Dr Pepper: So I saw the movie. The ending was terrible but the rest was okay. And yeah it wasn't much like the book but it was still good.
I also encountered a child molester in the bathroom when I had to go really bad halfway through the movie. Hmm.

Toad: Well, at least the entire trip wasn't a total waste of time then.

 

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Life at the Realm

- There are approximately 21,050 registered members at Sal's Realm. Our members have almost made 2 million posts!

- Congratulations to the newest Clan Chat moderators, Yoko, Zelly, and Tabt. Our newest DMs: Jack Nicholson and Gillis. Our latest mods: Finisterra, SlashingUK (who is now retired) Emanick, Donovan, Hawk, and Doom (also retired). And last, but not least the winners of the Database Drive competion: Eman, Rivel and Rizzo!

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