Riddles, Puzzles & Jokes

Welcome to the domain of Riddles Puzzles and Jokes. Try not to get the carpet dirty!

To start off, Topdog will hit us with a bunch of laughs in Topdog's Comical Jokes #2. Next on the roulette wheel, you'll be spun to Zach's Ridiculous Riddles #4 and The Random Jottings of Jamster by Buffalo and Jamster respectively. Last, but not least, The Female Dawg presents Riddle me This, The Mexican Joke, and The Robber.

Have fun reading this, and all the other sections everyone.

Buffalo

Topdog's Comical Jokes #2 - By: Topdog

The Drugstore
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Who is God?
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both," replies the father.
After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
"Daddy, does God love children?"
"Yes son, he loves all children."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

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Zach's Ridiculous Riddles #4 - By: ZacharyB

Two guys walk into a resteraunt, and order water. One guy drinks his water before the waitress comes to take their orders. The other guy drinks his slowly, and finishes it when they get the check. The man who drank it slower dies. Why?

Answer (highlight to view): The ice in the drinks were poisoned. The ice melted into the water.

Is there a 4th of July in England?

Answer (highlight to view): Yes but they don't celebrate it.

Where can you put an apple in a room that is completly filled up with people, where everyone can see it but one person?

Answer (highlight to view): On top of that person's head.

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The Random Jottings of Jamster - By: Jamster

I once went out with a Dutch girl who had inflatable shoes. I tried to arrange a date last week, phoned her up, and got the terrible news that she popped her clogs. But anyway, to cheer myself up after this terrible piece of news, I tried to put myself into a small suitcase. It was great! I could hardly contain myself!

So, I set off, with my small suitcase, to Russia. You see, I'd hired a room in an old hotel for the night, to work on a secret film project. My flight was quick, I got of the plane, into a cab, then into the hotel. I spoke with them, using a lot of hand gestures to get my point across. It seemed, however, that some things didn't translate properly. Either that, or I'm terrible at Russian.

When I asked to be put up for the night, they gave me some nails and a large cross. I shook my head, tried to explain, telling them that I wouldn't mind paying extra if I made the bed. That was just asking for it, wasn't it? They gave me back the nails, broke the cross into six, and pointed me in the direction of the landing. I gave up, and found my room on the second floor.

I put my key in the hole, and very nearly broke the window. The room was amazingly small, but I found enough room to 'make' my bed. A few times, I swore loudly as I drove nails through assorted fingers and thumbs, only to hear the sound of at least three women screaming at me to keep my voice down - the walls were obviously quite thin.

To give the place its credit, they did change the sheets every day. Only from bed to bed, however.

So, I finally got down to business, and used the phone number they'd given me, then I told them of my idea of doing an action film about classical composers, and the phone suddenly goes quiet. Then, suddenly, the voice of the legendary Arnold Schwarzanegger came out through the phone. He told me he was really interested in the idea. I asked him if he had any idea what role he could play. His reply?

"I'll be Bach."

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Riddle Me This! - By: The Female Dawg

If there are three cups of sugar and you take one away, how many do you have?

Answer (highlight to view): One, it's the one you took

How many F's are in this sentence?
When fishing for fish I found some fish bait for fishing

Answer (highlight to view): One

If you had only one match & entered a cold and dark room where there was an oil lamp, an oil heater and a candle which would you light up first?

Answer (highlight to view): The match

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The Mexican Joke - By: The Female Dawg

There was a man who wanted to go to Mexico.So he traveled there. So he gets there and he wanted to get a donkey for transportation.

He goes to this donkey salesman. He asks "Can I buy a donkey?"

The Salesman says "We don't call them donkeys, we call them asses."

So the man says "I'll buy oneass then."

The seller points to a donkey says "This one is if you scratch it on the back it will go. If it's going you, you scratch it on the back for it to stop."

The Man buys that donkey.

So he was pretty hungry so he goes to a hot-dog stand. He asks the hot-dog seller if he could have one hot-dog.

The hot-dog seller replies "We call them wieners here."

The man then says "Then may I buy a wiener?"

The seller then sells him the hot-dog.

He was riding his donkey when he saw some antiques so he went to look at them. He got off his ass to go look at the goods without scratching his donkey on the back. So he goes up to a man walking by and asks "Can you hold my wiener while I scratch my ass?"

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The Robber - By: The Female Dawg

There was a girl who lived in America. She was reading a book when she heared someone come in. Her book wasn't english. Police investigated and she didn't know what the man looked like even though he was actually right in front of her when it happened. Why is this?

Answer (highlight to view): She was a blind girl and her book was in braille. Since she was blind she couldn't describe him.

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