Riddles, Puzzle & Jokes
In this issue, many of the newspaper staff members provide some humorous and cheesy jokes. First, Say Topdog brings us some Crude Humor about a woman during her last few minutes alive. Second, Say Topdog returns with another strange joke about an apple in the Apple Themed Riddle. Third, Say Topdog provides us all with a Murder Mystery. Fourth, ZacharyB tells us some of his riddles from the collection of Zach's Ridiculous Riddles. Fifth, SlashingUK wrote us a lovely Rhyming Riddle that should warm your hearts and toggle your brains. Sixth, we have Jokes From The Topdog, concerning a train side and American baseball. Seventh, and finally, Dawesbr tells a little religious joke about a Priest and Disciple in a game of golf. Those seven jokes and riddles can all be found down below in this issue's section of Riddles, Jokes, and Puzzles.
-Mrcsupertrain
Crude Humor - By: Say Topdog
On one very unfortunate day, a plane was about to crash the waters in the Bermuda Triangle.
"Please! For the first time in my life, I want someone to make me a woman! This may just be the only chance I'll get!" says one woman.
"Make you a woman? Sure." says a man as he takes off his shirt. "Iron this."
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Apple Themed Riddle - By: Say Topdog
If there are a vast amount of people in an empty room, and none of those people can move, where can an apple be placed allowing all but one of the people in the room to see it?
Answer: (Highlight below for answer.)
A Head!
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Murder Mystery - By: Say Topdog
An elderly man was found dead in his own backyard, one Sunday morning.
The Gardener noticed the man dead, when he came out. The Gardener immediately rushed to the man's wife, who without hesitation called the police.
The police questioned the wife and staff and was given these alibis:
The Wife said she was indoors watching television.
The Gardener told the police she was about to go water the plants.
The Butler claimed to have been taking a shower during his ten minute break.
The Maid said she was getting the mail.
The Chef claimed to have been wiping his knives.
The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know?
Answer: (Highlight below for answer.)
The Maid; There is no mail on Sunday.
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Zach's Ridiculous Riddles - By: ZacharyB
In a one story house, everything is green. The couch is green, the walls are green, even the dog is green.
What's the color of the stairs?
Answer: (Highlight below for answer.)
There are no stairs. The house only has one story.
A guy bet his friend $100 dollars that he could jump off a 70 story building and live. He jumped and survived. He had no broken bones, and there was nothing on the ground to support/soften his fall.(Parachutes, trampoline etc.) How did he do it?
Answer: (Highlight below for answer.)
He jumped off the first story window. The bet was never to jump off the top of the building.
Four men jump off a sinking boat into the water headfirst. The first three men's hair are wet, but one of the men's hair isn't. How?
Answer: (Highlight below for answer.)
He's bald.
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Rhyming Riddle - By: SlashingUK
A teacher to some; a pupil never;
A source of fun, but rarely clever;
Millions of slaves I keep enchanted,
So long my power to me is granted.
My purpose is to show and tell,
But I neither write nor speak.
Words and art I handle well,
Sometimes I also squeak.
Answer: (Highlight below for answer.)
A computer monitor
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Jokes From The Topdog - By: Say Topdog
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
"Great," he replies, "Get your own darn blanket!"
This relates to American Baseball - Some of our European and other folk may not understand.
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Billy Bob. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
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The Priest and the Disciple - By: dawesbr
A priest and a disciple are playing golf. On the 3rd hole, the disciple misses an easy pot, and exclaims, "God damn it, I missed the bugger."
The priest tells him, "You shouldn't say that, it is against the word of God."
On the 4th hole, the disciple misses an easy pot, and exclaims, "God damn it, I missed the bugger."
The priest tells him, "You shouldn't say that, it is against the word of God."
On the 5th hole, the disciple misses an easy pot, and exclaims, "God damn it, I missed the bugger."
The priest tells him, "You shouldn't say that, it is against the word of God."
The sky suddenly turns overcast and stormy, and a great bolt of lightning shoots down and strikes the priest. The disciple hears a booming voice all around him.
"God damn it, I missed the bugger."
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