Riddles, Puzzles & Jokes
Welcome to Riddles, Puzzles, and Jokes section! Prince Caspian has stepped down from his throne, and has left me to fill his big (and smelly) shoes.
To start off, Desireful brings us "Failing Math Comes with...Death?" which chronicles what really does happen if you fail math. Then Jamster gives us a test in "Are you Ready to have Children?" Then I, ZacharyB, will hit you with some of the riddles deep from my riddle library in Zach's Ridiculous Riddles #3. Last but definitely not least, iTopdog gives us our final laughs in Topdog's comical jokes.
Thanks everyone for coming here next after you checked out comics!
ZacharyB
Failing Math Comes With ... Death? - By: Desireful
Johnny is a little boy that does very well in school. Well, all except for math. He just keeps failing all of those math tests and he has a hard time understanding the material. His mother thinks it's the school so she keeps moving him from school to school. After going to about 10 different schools, he still was failing math. His mother decided to send him to their church - a catholic school. All of a sudden Johnny's grades start rising. His mother was overjoyed when she saw the first quarter progress report. She asked Johnny why he was doing so well in math. He explained to her that when he walked into school the first day, he saw a man nailed to a plus sign, and knew that this school was very serious about their math.
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Are You Ready To Have Children? - By: Jamster
Are you ready to have children? Take this simple test, and if you cope, then you may be of a high enough standard to raise your own children.
Part I: Mess
Smear peanut butter over the sofa and the curtains. Now rub your hands in a wet flower bed, and rub onto the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch. Leave it there all summer and try not to break down.
Part II: Toys
Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego. (If Lego is not available, you can substitute this material with roofing tacks or broken glass.) Have a friend spread it all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, this could wake your dear child during the night.
Part III: Shopping
Borrow one or two small animals from a local farm, goats are the best. Take them with you when you go the Supermarket for your weekly shop. Keep them in sight at all times, and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Part IV: Dressing
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag, making sure all arms stay inside.
Part V: Feeding
Fill a large plastic milk jug with water, and suspend it from the ceiling with a strong piece of elastic. Push the jug to make it swing. Try to insert spoonfuls of chocolate laden cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an aeroplane. When all the cereal is in the jug, promptly dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
Part VI: Sleeping
Prepare by taking a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00pm, waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm. When it rings, get up, find your bag; pick it up. Proceed to sing every song you know, and make up a dozen more until it is about 4:00am. Set the alarm for 5:00am. Get up, and make breakfast. Try attempting Part V if feeling adventurous. Keep doing this for five years. Look cheerful throughout.
Made it this far? Congratulations! You are perfectly able to cope with children. Go out, have fun, and enjoy your... wonderful offspring.
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Zach's Ridiculous Riddles #3 - By: ZacharyB
What goes all around the world, but only stays in one corner?
Answer (highlight to view): A stamp on a postcard.
A man went into town on Thursday, stayed for 3 days, and left town on Thursday. How is this possible?
Answer (highlight to view): His horse's name was Thursday.
He had a hidden love, but he had to leave the city to see her, and he could only see her at night. Who or what is his love and why does he have to leave the city to see her?
Answer (highlight to view): His secret love is the stars. He has to leave the city because he can't see the stars with all the light from the city.
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Topdog's Comical Jokes - By: iTopdog
Congressman Joke
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!" The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
Rooster Joke
Why was the rooster so unhappy?
Answer (highlight to view): Because he only got laid once, and it was by his mother.
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