Forum & Site Discussion
Question: What is in Forum and Site Discussion this issue?
Answer: Po22 and The Darkest have received your personal questions and have chosen to answer a select few of them in our new Advice section! We hope in the future that this can become a regular feature of the paper, but for that to be so, we require your questions. Everything you need to know is in This topic. So, read on to discover how to fly a 747, how to achieve inner peace or maybe how to make money in RuneScape.
~ Jamster
Advice Column - By: Po22 and The Darkest
What can I say; I need a good, impressive title to start off this new column with a bang. But this column is about you, the readers and your thoughts, feelings and problems no matter how boring and insignificant and idiotic they are. Since the Newspaper Staff has added giving advice to people with real problems on the list of things that Po22 should never handle ever along with lighter fluid, magic markers, and Silly String. Two of those particular things involve my stomach being pumped and Mrcsupertrain is running out of money for my hospital bill, the deadbeat. So instead I’m here to answer the questions that seem to inhabit the space in your noggin that air just doesn’t seem to get to anymore, god bless it! Let’s get this one winged doomed aircraft off the ground shall we?
Le Breaker: Question: How should I deal with Macki?
What do you think I’m doing, running an advice column? Oh right. To answer your question Macki is a highly unobtrusive incredibly sneaky person. What people don’t know is that Macki is actually a kitty. There are some small but very important points you need to look out for when talking to him. Notice the excess amount of body hair on his face and body. Note the soft purring when you scratch him between the ears. Finally notice how he’s so cute and soft! Look at the iddy biddy cute kitty! Wook at da woolee woolee. Anyway my advice is to love him and pet him and take him out on long walks every day. And that’s how you should care for your cat.
Click This: How do you fly Boeing 747 jet aircraft?
Badly.
Un t0uch: If a zezima land opened in your town would you go to it?
First let me ask you a question. If a man offering free candy in his panel van would you go to it? Hell yeah! Zezima Land is a magical place where a single man is king. The man in his huge novelty costume is constantly followed around by an army of vagrants dressed as Runescape players following him around. The rides are fantastic. Virtual God Wars Dungeon, Keldagrim Tunnel Coaster, You Quit But Now Your Gonna Play Again? Ferris Wheel, which is a great metaphor. They have Strength Potion Soda, Metal Dragon Bistro and the less popular Boy These New Updates Are Great Mountain. Kind of a downer...But Zezima Land is a wonderful place. Although the vagrants they hire for Runescape players start to attack the guests and scream wildy. And they also found one dead in the Cook’s Guild basement. Smell was horrible...so that was probably my most traumatic childhood experience.
Grazer Magic: Question. Sometimes I spill the sugar all over the table, and in my breakfast. When my mum gets up, she goes balitz.
What can I do?
Balitz is an interesting word. Derived from the Bulgarian word Balizarn which means to hit with a large gold cane. The colonial Zec’s of Bulgaria used it to refer to their drivers in the sugar cane fields. Later the revolution would coin the term to refer to the struggle against their unjust masters. It wasn’t until President Alvulgver took power that major land reforms took place, multiplying the sugar cane production which is exactly why there is an excess of sugar on your plate. I suggest either trying to overthrow Bulgaria’s government or eating in a trough. Whatever’s good for you.
tezzamonkey: There's this really unpopular girl that likes me. How do I tell her to PO without hurting her feelings?
Simple. Just say that she’s a great person, she’s nice but you don’t think your ready for a long term relationship right now and your priorities are school and family. Also tell she’s ugly, that’s a key point.
Imager36: My friend said he'd buy my old party hat for 2000 gp. Is this a good deal as I see no use for it and it is worth nothing to me. I was only wondering if I should trade an item so old for such a good deal or keep it as everyone else has, as an antique.
My recommendation is to not even sell it to your friend. Such a dusty and dangerous thing could...poke someone’s eyes out or give you a papercut. And even though you can’t get hurt through the internet your character will suffer the damage. I could safe proof your party hat absolutely no charge. For once in a lifetime there is time for safety.
Adam?: People say I'm addicted to anime, but I'm too busy watching anime to contradict them. What do I do?
My advice is to just throw a ninja star at them or write their name down in your notebook. Mabye that will kill em. Ending Jutsu!
Well that’s all the time we have now people. Until next issue this is Po22 saying why the hell do I bother?
And now The Darkest joins in, answering your problems with possibly slightly more tact than Po.
EK: What should I do to reach inner peace? Should I have two religions?
Inner peace? To achieve that you need to resolve conflicts, with yourself and with others. If you can do that, then try to prevent them. You can't really reach total peace. This should help induce it though. Also, don't go with two religions. That will totally negate the peace. Choose one you believe in most.
-The Darkest (Dark)
iTopDog: My friend told me that I reported him and he got muted. He was very mad that I "betrayed" him while I felt like I was doing the right thing. Could you help me out?
This is easier to answer because I've gone through the same, except I didn't get him muted. Try to coax him into thinking more strongly that RuneScape is just a game. Some of my friends who I know personally have been muted. They did with it fine. Your friend should forgive you or else they weren't a real friend. Techinically, you were doing the right thing. Also try to convince them that you were, in fact, doing the right thing.
-Dark
architech234: Hello im trying to make alot of money ive tried everything woodcutting fishing, mining. wat else could i try plz plz plz plz help me
Ahh. The simple "I need money" question. Cut willows. Fish salmon. Mine coal. It does work. I need money too. Tan cow hides. The opportunities are endless. Merchant your items. Really, whatever people tell you works. There's no "get rich quick" scheme unless you have an expensive item to sell. It takes time, but it does work.
-Dark
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