Riddles, Puzzles & Jokes

Warning: The following section requires a certain amount of brainpower. If you are not fond of riddles that actually make you think, then I would advise you to turn away, as Jamster can be tricky. Also, please be aware that we do not take responsibility for any humiliation caused by Jamster to people screwing in light bulbs. We would also like to apologize to blondes and sheep, as they are the butt of Mrcsupertrain's jokes.
- Adam

Rebuses - By: Jamster

Please click here for the definition of a Rebus.

Question 1:
What does this represent?
H
&
M
E

Question 2:
This seems impossible, but you'll kick yourself once you realise the answer. What does this represent?
PICT RES

Question 3:
This is really a common phrase, but can you guess it?
Left Side - 1st Floor -Right Side
Left Side - 2nd Floor - Right Side
Left Side - 3rd Floor - Right Side

Question 4:
Arrrrr! This be a phrase found at sea, normally shouted by Pirate Captains:
High card
1 Pair
2 Pairs
3 of a Kind
Straight
Flush
Full house
Four of a kind
Straight Flush
Royal Flush
All 52 Cards

Question 5:

H Dinner
S Dinner
A Dinner
W Dinner

Done? Visit the Credits section to check your answers!

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The Blonde Sheep Joke - Mrcsupertrain

There was a typical blond. She had long, blond hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blond jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.

"That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.

"Why thank you," said the herder.

"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.

"Okay," replied the herder.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman.

"Sure," said the sheep herder.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382."

"Wow," said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you."

"What is it?" queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

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Joke Passage from Jamster

I begin with a newsflash!
A hole has appeared in the ladies' changing room at the sports club. Police are looking into it.
Now, onto our main story tonight.

A policeman was at a scene of a terrible disaster. Body parts are everywhere, and he was making notes about everything that was there.
Arm on pavement, next to tree.
Foot fallen down drain on North side of the road.
He then comes across a head, and writes in his notebook, Head on boolevard. That doesn't look right, so he crosses it out and writes Head on bullefard, which doesn't look right either. Crossing it out again, he writes Head on boullavard. That still doesn't look right, and so, making sure noone else is around, he kicks the head. Then, he writes on his notebook Head in garden.

This shocking story is just one of many showing how the police are acting in today's modern world. But things must move on, nowadays policemen deal with violence, drunkeness and foul language, and that's only the judge!

The police are still working well though, they arrested a couple of boys yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other, eating a firework. They charged one, but let the other one off.

Nowadays, the police's punishments are still just, the maximum sentence for bigamy is still to mother-in-laws, which is more than enough for anybody. Now, there are those who try to outwit the law, such as Mr. J Smith from America, sentenced to die by electric chair. His last request was to sing a song, his favourite song, from start to finish withouth any interruptions. The police agreed, only to discover the song...
'One billion bottles o' beer on the wall, one billion bottles o' beer...'

Now, I am no stranger to the cops though, my grandad's dying wish was for me to be sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

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Light Bulb Jokes from Jamster

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
1, they don't like to share the spotlight.

How many Civil Servants does it take to change a light bulb?
45, 1 to change it, 44 to do the paperwork.

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
1.

How many policemen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, it turned itself in.

How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
2, One to change it, the other to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

How many Hollywood directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only 1, but he'll want to retake it 19 times.

How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?
257, 1 to hold it and 256 to turn the room.

How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
1, but you need at least three light bulbs.

How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, she can do it after she's finished the the dishes.

How many proud men does it take to change a light bulb?
1, he holds it and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Into what?

How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the old one's probably screwed in too tight.

How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just 1, but he gets three tech reports out of it.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.

How many Punk Rockers does it take to change a light bulb?
2, one to change the bulb, the other to eat the old one.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
2, one to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub full of brightly coloured tools.

How many gorrilas does it take to change a light bulb?
Only 1, but it takes a lot of bulbs.

How many marines does it take to change a light bulb?
50, one to screw it in, 49 to guard him.

How many dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.

How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You'll never find one who admitted it went down in the first place.

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