Riddles, Puzzles & Jokes

Goliath told me to throw together a hilarious and witty section intro for this issue's riddles and jokes. This is my defiance. (I actually never said that >.< ~ Goliath)

In this issue, Jamster made a Crossword , Beret told a joke about The Captain , and Mrcsupertrain told The Car Joke . All of these are pretty funny, excluding the crossword because Jamster is a nub, and should be worth your time. The crossword is definitely worth your time. (Please, for the sake of Jamster's ego, send in your crossword. ) That's all I have to say. It's not like anyone actually reads this. Come to think of it, there isn't any real reason for me to even be doing this...BAIZ.

-Adam

(Adam forgot to mention this, but we have another Monster or Made Up by Richman99.)

Crossword: Who's Who in Runescape - By: Jamster

ACROSS
6 In the Chicken farm West of Lumbridge resides an annoyed farmer, but what's his name?
7 Who can sell you a Dragon Dagger when you are not in Zanaris?
8 This person can sell you bolts for Karil's Crossbow.
11 The Gatekeeper in Zanaris must be given what to enter?
12 One of the local Lumbridge farmers, which is he?
13 A well dressed gnome who can furnish you with lots of clothes.
14 Who in Falador could sell you a Dwarven stout for 3gp?
16 Trapped in Draynor village's Prison, he needs rescuing. Who is he?
17 Who is King of Varrock?
18 Who in Varrock has cute pigtails?
19 Who tells you where the Black Arm Gang's hideout is?
DOWN
1 He is terrified of Count Draynor.
2 Who is the chancellor to the Emir?
3 The forester who teleports you to his forest to kill some pheasants is...
4 Gossip, gossip, gossip. This person sits outside Draynor bank, telling us all about the Wise Old Man. But who is she?
5 What could Wyson the Gardener sell you?
9 A freeplayer wants to have some strength potions. Which NPC should he go and see?
10 AKA Goody two shoes
11 Varrock's guard is headed by whom?

Be sure to pm Jamster your answers.

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Monster or Made Up? 3 - By: Richman99

Welcome to the third Monster or Made-Up with ten monsters. So, it's time to find your thinking caps and test your bestiary knowledge!

Look through the monsters in the list and decide whether each name is a real monster in RuneScape or a fake one.

Karamel
Slug King
Terrifying Bird
Skeletal Wyvern
Scarab
Solus Dellagar
Pistachio
Confused Barbarian
Henga Menga Denga
Dagganoth Father
Solus Dellagar
Pragolrich

Done? Check the credits section for answers!

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The Captain - By: Beret

One day a naval fleet was out on it's post guarding nearby territory. An enemy ship appeared on the horizon.

Captain's Assistant: Sir, There's an enemy ship on the horizon! What are your orders?

Captain: Bring me... my red shirt.

Captain's Assistant: Uhhh... okay.

The Assistant brings the Captain his red shirt and the Captain puts it on. That day in battle they lost no men in battle and completely destroyed the enemy ship. So later that day.

Captain's Assistant: Sir, about the earlier battle. We won and before the battle you asked me to bring you your red shirt... why?

Captain: If Ii manage to get shot or wounded in the chest none of the men will know and they will continue to fight with hesitation of their Captain dieing.

Captain's Assistant: Ahh very smart sir.

So the next morning there are 20 enemy ships on the horizon.

Captain's Assistant: Sir, there's 20 enemy ships on the horizon! What are your orders?

Captain: Bring me...my brown pants.

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The Car - By: Mrcsupertrain

Three friends, Vito, Eddie, and Jacob, are in a car driving to the ballgame when a big truck runs them over, killing them instantly. They find themselves at the Pearly Gates being interviewed by St. Peter.
"Hello everyone, welcome to heaven. Heaven is a big place, and to travel around, you'll need a car. Before I give you a car, I'll need to interview you," says St. Peter. He then points to Vito.
"How many times did you cheat on your wife? And don't lie, I'm St. Peter you know."
Vito hangs his head and replies, "Honestly Pete, I was with two maybe three different broads a week."
St. Peter replies, "Alright, your car in heaven is that used Geo Metro over there, goodbye." He looks at Eddie and asks, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"
Eddie replies, "I must admit that in 15 years of marriage I did cheat on my wife 3 times." St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that used BMW, goodbye." He then looks at Jacob and asks, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"
Jacob lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that over 30 years of marriage, I've never cheated on my wife! In fact, my beloved has been dead for 2 years now and I remained celibate the whole time!"
St. Peter replies, "Very impressive. Your car in heaven is that new Ferrari convertible. Goodbye!"
A couple of hours later, Vito and Eddie are waiting for Jacob at the park where all three had planned to meet. Jacob arrives a couple of minutes late in his Ferrari, and his friends notice that he is sobbing like a baby. Vito asks, "Hey! What's a matter with you? We should be crying! We're stuck with these ugly buckets and you got a new Ferrari!" Jacob, between sobs replies, "I just saw my wife on a skateboard!"

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