Riddles & Jokes

Welcome to this issue's Riddles and Jokes Section! We'll try to make you laugh so hard you'll cry, fall out of the chair, get up, and then laugh some more.

To start off this issue, Richman99 writes Monster or Made-Up 2 , with brand new monsters! So go put on your thinking caps and test your bestiary knowledge! We also have a quiz by Mrcsupertrain . This quiz requires you to use your Spanish speaking abilities! We can't stop you from using online translators, but remember you will suffer dire consequences if you do... Also included in this issue, are two long (and utterly hilarious) jokes by Jamster ! Mrcsupertrain also brings us three more jokes! Finally, ultima4959882 adds to bombardment of funniness.

Prepare to fall out of your chair!

- Richman99

Monster, or Made-Up? - By: Richman99

Yup. Remember Monster or Made-Up from Issue 3? Well I, with Goliath's permission, have decided to make another one! So, get ready to test your Runescape Monster Knowledge... with 13 brand new monsters! So, shall we begin?

Here are the names we'll be using:

Yt-Hurkot
Bouncer
Cutter
Cruglith
Banshee
Kortin the Tormented
Wallasalki
Dorkan the Bewitched
Pee Hat
Etalocohc
Schokolade
Reina De Troll Del Mar
Eldoon

Done? Visit the Credits section to check your answers!

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Language Fun - Mrcsupertrain

Quiz Language: Spanish

1. Mi nombre es.

A. I would like.
B. My name is.
C. May I have.

2. Acabo de regresar de mi viaje.

A. I have just returned from school.
B. I have just returned from my trip.
C. I have just returned from home.

3. Por favor.

A. Goodbye.
B. Excuse me
C. Please

4. Con permiso...

A. Excuse me...
B. May I have...
C. I would like...

5. ¡Tengo hambre!

A. I am busy!
B. I am hungry!
C. I do not understand!

6. Vamos a almorzar esta tarde.

A. Let's go to the beach this afternoon.
B. Let's have brunch this afternoon.
C. Let's have lunch this afternoon.

7. ¿Me das la sal?

A. Can you pass me the ketchup?
B. Can you give me a beer?
C. Can you pass me the salt?

8. ¿Qué hora es?

A. What time is it?
B. What's the matter?
C. What's going on?

9. ¡Necesito un taxi!

A. I need a cab!
B. I am hungry!
C. I am lost!

10. Vamos a encontrarnos en la casa de Marcela.

A. We have a party at Marcela's house.
B. We are staying at Marcela's house.
C. We are meeting at Marcela's house.

Go to the Credits section to check you answers!

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Jokes from Mrcsupertrain

The Lie Clock

Donald Rumsfeld died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Rumsfeld, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said Rumsfeld. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's President George W. Bush's clock?" asked Rumsfeld.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

The First Pitch

In honor of Hillary's courage to run for president, Bill Clinton took her to a Yankees game. Before the game began, a secret service man and the Yankees' Umpire came up to Mr. Clinton. The umpire whispered in his ear. Suddenly, Bill Clinton picked up Hillary and threw her down a set of stairs, crashing onto the field. The secret service man and the umpire turned and looked at Bill in total shock. The umpire said in a quiet and stable voice, "Mr. Clinton, Sir, I think you misunderstood me; I said the team would like you to throw out the first pitch."

The Mother-In-Law

A man, his wife and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why?" Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here in the Holy Land and spend only $150?"
The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead. If these Holy Lands have this power, I can't take that chance with my mother-in-law"

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Jokes from Jamster

Lost Twins

A woman has twins, but unfortunatly, has to give them both up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and they name him Ahmal. The second goes to Spain and is named Juan. After 14 years, Juan sends his mother a picture of himself. When she gets the picture, she tells her husband she wishes Ahmal had sent one too. Her husband says, 'They're twins, if you seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.

The Market

Two men in the foreign legion are seperated from their platoon. Desperate for water, they crawl into a Bedouin marketplace. Overjoyed, they talk to the first shop keeper, and ask him for some water. 'I am sorry, I have no water. But, I do have some sponge cake, custard, or maybe some jelly?' The two men go to the next stall and beg the owner for some water. 'Alas, no.' the storekeeper replies, 'I could give you jelly, sponge cake and lots of custard, but water - no.' Desperately, they pass to another stall, begging for a drink of anything. 'We have lots of custard, sponge cake and jelly, but no water.' Depressed and parched - they crawl back into the desert. One says to the other, 'That market was very odd.' 'Yes' replies his friend. 'It was a trifle bazaar.'

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