Stories and Poems

Welcome to the Stories and Poems section! In this issue we have the second and third parts of a story written by some random guy with a really incomprehensible language, which I doubt anybody will like. Next up we have a tasty treat for you, the second part of the Mystery of Chocolate series! Haha, get it, tasty? Oh I crack myself up.

But before that we have some wonderfully dull, err, inspiring poems written by Dissentor and The Lich King.

Stand up, get as uncomfortable as you possibly can, and whatever you do, don't enjoy this issue of Sals Paper.

-Goliath Gob

Ivy And Chrysanthemums - By: Dissentor Lovely as ivy
Radiant chrysanthemums
Strolling along on a calm clear day of spring
No memory of destination
       Nor length
Just laughter and joy
And joy
Much laughter

Sweaty is handholding
While gazing deep into two endless pits
Mysterious, unsure, questioning, doubt
Here one day
gone the next
Like the zephyr
Howling loudly, proclaiming its presence
Then faltering,
wavering,
and suddenly,
no longer there

the ivies
the chrysanthemums
lovely and radiant as they are,
they do not boast
but instead stay strong

Strolling along on a calm clear day of spring
No memory of destination
       Nor length
Just laughter and joy
And joy
Much laughter

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Illusion Night - By: The Lich King

The dark rain poured on my face
Street lights burned out
Home lights went out
Nothing was heard but the pouring rain

A figure ahead of me could be seen
Swaying back and forth
Something was wrong I could tell
I approached the shadow
And somehow that's all it was

I look ahead again
A group of people was ahead
I began to converse with them
Someone came up and asked what I was doing
Talking to myself like a madman

I looked back at the group
And somehow, no one was there
The man disappeared as well
I wandered what had been going on

The strangest night of my life was occurring
I went to the local doctors house
Hoping that was real as well
As I knocked on his door his light turned on
He invited me in and inspected
All he said was
You have the eye trickery disease.

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Me, My Friends, In I - By: Goliath Gob

Chapter 2 - The Procedure

Our fate had been decided on that Thursday morning at school, just seven months ago. If you compared our present selves with us seven months ago, you would think we were a totally new group of friends.

That morning, the Intergalactic Espionage Agency abducted the brightest and best of planet earth, my six friends and me. Yeah, who would have thought? Apparently, in most solar systems, the older of the race, in earth’s case adults, were inferior.

Cramped inside one of the IEA’s Scout class vessels, it was Jess’s words, “Isn’t it kind of hard to fit all of us into this tiny ship?” that had given the IEA’s head of the research department the idea that doomed us all…

***

“Now if you would,” started Professor Dhymaxez, head of the research department here at the IEA, “step inside this chamber so that we may get on with the procedure.”
“I-i-is-i-is it safe?” asked Evan Heinz, smartest kid in school, well, that’s just his opinion.
“Of course it’s safe!” snapped the Professor, “I designed it myself!”
“Thanks, that makes me feel a WHOLE lot better!”
We all laughed at Jess as we took our place inside the machine. Jess could always make us laugh. Naught but four days ago we had been kidnapped, and were recruited by the IEA, but Jess could still make light of the situation.
“Now that is more than enough!” scolded the ety skinned professor, a colour unknown to Terrans. “The sooner you get this over with the better. Now, is everyone in position?”
“Yeess Mr. D,” we replied, as if answering one of our school teachers.
“Excellent!” he said, “But its Professor, not Mister! Ebzzlôel cvl üibblaqil!” he signaled to his assistant, sealing the door to the chamber.

A low buzzing sound quickly rose to a loud whirring sound. I covered my ears, as did the others, the sound had now become tremendously loud, and our bodies had become heavy, as if weighed down. As if that weren’t enough, a bright light filled the chamber blinding us, not soon after, we had all collapsed, fainted from the physical strain on our bodies.

***

“Üibnlaati! Üibnlaati! Cvlo eil ekeil!”

I slowly opened my eyes, letting my eyes adjust to the light. The first thing I saw was the Professor standing over me. He smiled, appearing pleased. Had the procedure gone according to plan? Darkness… Had I blacked out? A minute later I saw the professor’s assistant standing next to him, now with worried looks on their faces. I gasped for air, feeling a pain in my chest. What was happening to me? I started having convulsions, flopping around like a fish out of water, and then the darkness overwhelmed me…


Chapter 3 - Transformation

I awoke, wondering what had just happened. I looked around me, still, nothing but darkness. I noticed a large view screen on the wall. Wait, wall?
“Malcolm? Is that you?” asked a well-known voice. I spun around coming face to face with Geoff and my other friends, Evan, Amanda, Jeremy, and Justin.
Where’s Jess gone off to? I repeated the question out loud. We all looked to each other.
Blip!
Now, on the once blank viewscreen, we were relieved to see the Professor standing there. Please relax, he said. For those of you in the waiting room, please, be assured that you are in good hands. The procedure has been a success! We had forgotten a minor detail before, but we have it all sorted out now. What we have done,” he took in a deep breath, “is merged all of your bodies and minds, into one body. We all looked at each other, astonished that they would do such a thing without our consent.
Jess is here now. Those of you in the waiting room, what you see now, all that is around you, is a microscopic chip that has been injected into your bloodstream. Your consciousness is stored in this chip, and you may switch from one person to another. There is a medical bed, for healing any wound or any ailment known. You should also be able to see a computer console, from there you may ask the computer for anything, food, books, whatever your heart may desire. It is programmed to take commands in Môc Yeô, so I suggest you become fluent in the language. You can also transfer your consciousness from the console, and talk to the active person, in this case Jess. The final feature is the viewscreen you are now watching me on. You will see whatever Jess sees, or if Amanda’s body and mind are active, you will see it from her eyes. I hope you find everything to your liking. That will be all.

The professor then walked away. I walked over to the console. “Jess? You all right?”
Yeah, how about you guys? I told him that we were okay, apart from the shock.
“Do you mind if I take over?” I asked.
By all means, this is kind of freaking me out!
I asked around, seeing if anybody knew the word for “switch”.
“That’s an easy one!” answered Amanda, “akmcev of course!”
I was amazed that she had known that after being in space for only four days. I shrugged and said “akmcev.”
I felt a tingling in my fingers. I looked at them, but they were no longer there! My whole body was slowly disappearing. I heard somebody screaming, not realizing that it was I who was screaming. Darkness once again washed over me.

***

I opened my eyes, and looked down at my body. It was indeed my body. I stood up, and walked around the lab.
What are you going to do? I heard Evan’s voice from inside my head.
“What I’m going to do” I answered, “is hire a good lawyer.”

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Mystery of Chocolate, Part 2 - By: Richman99

I don't get this! How could Bob, an employee that got fired, meet me without being found? It doesn't make any sense. Wait a minute! I got it! Bob is mad that he got fired so he wanted revenge—he decided to ruin the company's reputation! It all made sense now! I can’t believe this…so many people have probably gotten fired from chocolate making companies; I can't just say all of them wanted revenge!

“Hey Steve! It's been a long time since we last met!" I said. “You've got that right! Let me guess, you're here to ask my dad some questions about that chocolate scandal, right? He's been pretty stressed out lately, so try not to get on his bad side! Follow me," replied Steve, an old friend of mine. I followed Steve into his house, “He must be in the bathroom. Sit down and mae yourself at home. I have to go and practice for my basketball game tomorrow. See ya!" he said. I replied with a little annoyance, “Fine, but he better not take too long!" After about 10 minutes, Steve's dad came to me and asked me to follow him into his office. Boy was it big! A plasma screen could be seen on the wall, facing a well furnished desk piled with paper.

"Hello Mr. Adams . Well I'm not sure if you know this, but Bob, the man you fired, sneaked into the company building and had a meeting with me. I didn't know he was fired. Did anybody tell you this? I asked curiously. “What? You mean Bob, the guy with the messy black hair? He's not fired! Who the heck told you that? He's a nice man! He's a big contributor to the company! Why would I fire him?" asked Steve's dad, sounding very confused. “Wha-What? Some girl named Liz Knight told me that Bob had been fired!" I said, shocked. “Listen Brian, I got a call before saying Steve's game is cancelled, so Steve, you, and I will go to the company building right now and ask Liz why she said that Bob was fired. Give me a few minutes, and we'll go. Ok?” “Sure”, I replied.

Steve, his dad, and I left for the company building. The ride took half an hour and we listened to some awesome music on the way. We finally reached the company building and made our way in. We were looking for Liz Knight all over the place. After what seemes to be forever, we found her. Steve's dad was extremely mad and seemed to have a lot to say to Liz! I had no idea Steve's dad could yell like that!

“Liz Knight! Why on earth did you tell this young man that Bob was fired? I know you and him are rivals and argue all the time, but to mislead a child who wants to help us out of this crisis is just wrong! Listen to me very carefully, Liz! If you ever pull a stunt like that again, you will see yourself out of this building forever... understood? Now get back to work," yelled Steve's dad. I was trembling all over! Steve's dad yelled so loudly, the whole building could have heard him! “Um, sir, I think I've got what I needed. COuld you give me a lift home?" I asked. “Sure Brian. Come on Steve, let's go take Brian home" he said.

I was so confused when I got home. My brain was hurting as I thought of the convoluted chocolate scandal. All the news channels are talking about the chocolate scandal. I was thinking of helping, but is it worth it? So, now even though one plan didn’t work, I came up with another one. Since Bob still works for the company, he probably isn't connected to the scandal. However, Liz doesn't seem to have a nice nature and as Steve's dad said, argues with a lot of people. Now it makes sense! Liz is probably mad at Steve's dad because he yells at her and treats her like she doesn't exist—maybe that's why she wanted to get payback!

I found out who started this mess the very next day. I was walking through the streets to get a flower pack to place on my grandmother's grave. It was a long walk and on the way there, I saw Liz! Yes, Liz. She was on the phone talking to someone. I quickly sneaked right behind her and was trying to hear what she was saying.... “Yes thank you. That idiot yelled at me in front of everybody! It's a good thing you involved me in that chocolate mess. I'm so happy that I was able to get revenge. I'll talk to you later, bye." Liz had said. Well, that was all I heard... but that one phone conversation helped me uncover this whole scandal! I ran out of the shop and ran back to my house. I grabbed the phone and called Steve's dad! I was so close to solving this crime I could even taste it!

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